May contain peanuts.

You have to love Americans.

I don't care if you think you hate them. You do have to love them.

For example. Even if you hate kids, you can't help but love them because they are so charmingly, disarmingly, naively stupid. Like the pull-on-the-cable-of-the-telephone-until-it-falls-on-your-head kind of stupid.

I was served a plastic bag of peanuts on my last flight into the States. Big yellow letters and a very unmistakable photo on the front side left little to the imagination of what I was going to find inside. Peanuts. You know this thing was made in the US of A when you turn the package around.

May contain traces of peanuts.

What can I say. That's pretty much my definition of charmingly, disarmingly, naively stupid. And from what I heard, these "warnings" are usually there because somebody at some point was able to sue. "There was no way of knowing that there were peanuts in there that could cause my allergic reaction." Like when McDonalds fails to tell you that you shouldn't spill hot coffee in your lap since that may hurt. Or when car manufactures fail to tell drivers that the so-called "auto-pilot" that is actually a cruise control shouldn't lead to drivers taking a nap at the wheel.

It's things like these that give Americans the Kindchenschema.

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control violations, subversive or terrorist activities, or any other unlawful purpose? Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organization as currently designated by the U.S. Secretary of State? Have you ever participated in persecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany; or have you ever participated in genocide?

You get to check "yes" or "no" to this question in your visa application. I wonder why that is. Why don't they just write in the same plain words that you cannot be a terrorist if you want to enter the US of A. Why do you actually have to answer the question? Did any terrorist ever fall for this?

I would really like to know who that was. And if he/she ever got convicted, given he/she's probably too stupid to distinguish a real gun from a waterpistol.